Haunted House on Kirby Road, The (2017)

Starring Nina Kiri, Sammi Barber, Austin Duffy

Directed by Stu Stone


Creepypasta is one of those mysterious entities that has managed to spawn some interesting ideas into the young, impressionable minds of tomorrow, from The Slender Man right on down to a slew of otherworldly activity. Director Stu Stone taps into the pasta and cooks up a tale about a group of late-teen-somethings who apparently have way too much time on their hands, and find themselves smack-dab in the middle of a horrific urban legend.

The Haunted House On Kirby Road is the film under dissection right now, and following the premise of this one is about as simple as the title its under – we’ve got a chemically-altered band of high-school pals who opt to check out the home of an eyeball-collecting spirit of a man who back in the day killed his cheating wife, her lover, the kiddies…and then took his own life – the cheer goes on for years. So we throw this merry collection of stereotyped adolescents into the haunted house and let them have their fun, from the girls with questionable promiscuity, to the nice guy just looking for a good girl, to the braggadocios douche, and of course there’s the stoner, as you’ve simply got to have a stoner in these films…not sure why, but it does happen. In any event, the gang takes us on a less-than-stellar ride through their big night in the spooky house – if watching kids smoke copious amounts of weed, followed by telling lame jokes at each other’s expense, and the ever-so-hypnotic stare into their cellphones for an eternal spell is your kind of entertainment – boy, are you in luck.

Me? I’d honestly hoped for a bit more out of this “horror” film, and while there are a few instances that will give some middle-end fright movie fans a bit of an accelerated heartbeat, it overall couldn’t get itself up and over the tremendously large hump that it builds for itself in the early stages of the film. Performances are what you’d expect out of a production such as this – kids playing kids, and the bar never gets set much higher than the characters would allow it to be – not a downfall, but not exactly something to write home about either. Bottom line is, if you’re into ghost films, give this a peek – maybe some will find it entertaining, but I’ll be content to play some creepy music in the background while checking out Dazed And Confused for the umpteenth time to get my kicks.

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Matt Boiselle

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